August 15, 2025
A Sunday afternoon scroll through facebook led me to the RIBBON CUTTING for the completion of our new school building. My administrators, co-workers, and I have taught and lived in separate buildings for three years and were looking forward to the year we’d finally be under one roof again. THIS is that year; the school year we’ve been waiting for. All remnants of our old building are gone and a lovely state of the art middle school now sits in its place. The rush of joy, hope for new year, hugs and smiles were palpable as I watched it eagerly, but with a lump in my throat.
Something uncomfortable crept up on me. Was it jealousy, FOMO, sadness…all of those things and more? I am genuinely excited for my Viking family; its been a long time coming–but in full disclosure, it was like a shockwave of sadness overtook me when I saw the videos and pictures of the people I love happily congregated for the special occasion. Something was missing. Me, I was missing.
My pity party whispered, “Life marches on here as if you were never part of it.” So I sat in that lie and spiraled into a depressed afternoon that lingered into the night.
Life does march on, but I am blessed to be cared for and appreciated by administration, co-workers, parents, and many a student; I know it in my heart. I felt it and experienced it, as I was beautifully honored and celebrated with retirement parties, visits from students over the years, including some that dated back to my years teaching in Metro Nashville. I stood for hours crying, laughing and hugging them and some of their parents. I was surprised and honored with the Viking Spirit award at our promotion ceremony in May; to a room of I don’t know how many hundreds of students and parents thanking me with their heartfelt applause! What in the world, get over yourself, Becky!
I do understand time serving the Vikings in the capacity of 8th grade history teacher has passed. I chose to retire as it was time; my soul, mind, body, and the Spirit have shown me over and over, it was time…but My HEART wasn’t ready. It needs time.
Reading the celebratory post and watching the video felt like I was on the outside looking into a room where I was supposed to be; where I wanted to be, where I belonged. It felt like was knocking, even pounding for a bit, but no one heard me. No one let me in.
The Ribbon Cutting was the first of many moments I will miss this year: Homecoming Parade, BMS Bash, Pep Rallies, dress up weeks, our Christmas Countdown, not to mention daily moments in the classroom: relationships built with children; middle schoolers often just searching for someone to see them. God gave me the gift to see them and oh so often they saw me, as well. I will forever cherish and sometimes still long for THOSE moments.
With a tear down my cheek and a smile of my face I know the truth… “Once a Viking, always a Viking.” I’ll see you soon friends, just not in Room 222.
Sunday’s pity party if officially over. Have a blessed weekend.
