“To’ksa
August 1, 2025
Toksa-for many years I taught my students this Lakota Sioux word as it means “see you later” in their native tongue. A kind Sioux native explained its meaning to me and I began to hold its meaning close, for I love the connection it holds when it’s time to part. It leaves space for seeing one another again, and as hard as it was to let go of students from year to year, toksa was honest and sincere, making it just a bit easier to say “good-bye.”
Today’s walk through the hallways of a school I love was quite different, sweet and comfortable, but also sad.
From 1976-1979 I hailed it as my junior-high; 7th-9th grade. I was proud to be a Viking and represented them as a student, cheerleader,runner, and softball player. Those were influential and memorable years.
It was during my 9th grade year I began thinking to myself, I want to be a teacher.I want to teach, guide, love kids well. Coach McCord, Mr. Davis, Mrs. Cleveland, Coach Gentry, and Ms. Medlin are names I hold dear. They influenced me in ways I didn’t fully understand at the time, but upon reflection, they helped mold me into the teacher I became.
Fast-forward several decades and from 2015-2025; I became a Viking again, only this time as a teacher. I left an elementary school I also hold dear and moved into the world of middle school and yes it is its very own chaotic, beautiful, hormonal, stressful world-one I felt called to after over 20 years in elementary. I was insure if it would be the school from which I retired but I thought it might be and in May of 2025 it became my final school year. I blinked, ten years passed and it’s time to turn the page.
Today, the day we work in our room before the children arrive-I did not work, my husband did not bring dinner, and I didn’t stay until 9:00pm or later to ready my class-room for students… making it warm and welcoming for day one and all the days to come, but like a fly to butter, I could not let the day pass without seeing my people, my school family.
With eagerness and a twinge of sadness in my belly I went to visit my friends, peek at their rooms, give them hugs, and wish them well as a new school year begins. I could not stay away. While in the halls and their rooms, I felt excitement and hope for the new year but understood their exhaustion after a week of meetings, agendas, new guidelines, county expectations, the list goes on. I promised I would give hugs and make it quick, as I know how valuable and fleeting those hours are; some of us doing a week’s worth of work in a day, while others not quite so pushed as they came in on their own time long before school re-opened.
I kept my promise to myself and to them and did not overstay my welcome. It felt good to be there and believe it was where I needed to be at that time and in that space.
Upon leaving, I took a deep breath and sat quietly in my car. I felt the tears welling my eyes and that familiar emotional pounding in my chest. Unsure of whether I’d share it; I videoed that moment to try and capture the real and unedited emotion that overcame me.
Stepping away from the classroom I have loved for so long is like leaving behind part of myself ; part of my identity. How did I get here so quickly? If you are feeling the same, I pray this finds you.
Toksa Vikings, this is not goodbye.
#onceavikingalwaysaviking
#retiredteacher
Video may not load. I am new to blogging and figuring it out as I go-my apologizes.
beckroda1964 
